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Description
Shiny Mammal Fish Suck (for New England fans) - Unisex Jersey Short Sleeve TeeDude, make up your mind! Are you a fish or are you a mammal? Don't try to be both, stupid poser. You know what really sucks? is a creature closely related to a porpoise but isn't one. Especially the ones that are are usually bigger and have conical teeth instead of spade shaped teeth like a porpoise does. And what about all those stupid noises that dolphins make? ugh, so annoying!! Don't you agree that dolphins suck and porpoises are way better? If
Dude, make up your mind! Are you a fish or are you a mammal? Don't try to be both, stupid poser. You know what really sucks?...is a creature closely related to a porpoise...but isn't one. Especially the ones that are are usually bigger and have conical teeth instead of spade shaped teeth like a porpoise does. And what about all those stupid noises that dolphins make?...ugh, so annoying!! Don't you agree that dolphins suck and porpoises are way better? If you do...then these shirts are for you!
These classic unisex jersey short sleeve t-shirts have-ribbed knit collars to bolster shaping. The shoulders have taping for better fit over time. Dual side seams hold the garment's shape for longer.
.: 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
.: Light fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²))
.: Retail fit
.: Tear away label
.: Runs true to size
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 16.50 | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 8.60 | 8.90 | 9.20 | 9.50 | 9.70 | 10.00 | 10.40 | 10.80 | 11.20 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
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4.5 ★★★★★
Based on 19 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 4
Good lasting color
Color: Ultra Dark, Size: 16 Fl Oz (Pack of 1)
I have been a big fan of this brand for quite a while. I do like this specific one. The smell is not over baring however I always mix any self tanner with lotion or oil to help it go on more evenly as well as masks and possible unappealing smell. It does not rub off on clothes unless your sweating then it may but I refrain from wearing white the first day I apply but after that it’s no problem. Color is good for me. I’m fair skinned so it doesn’t so it works well for me. But the downside to that is it can be more noticeable when it starts to fade because it doesn’t fade evenly. It fades as your skin cells slough off so a good exfoliating shower helps with that. Then reapply! And the color last longer then most other brands I’ve tried
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Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Great gel self tanner !!
Color: Ultra Dark, Size: 16 Fl Oz (Pack of 1)
This stuff is insane!!!! It literally looks and goes on clear but!!! After an hour after it being on ur skin ur are instantly tan!!!
No bad strong smell and the tan last forever and it don’t look fake or streaky at all. This stuff gives you a bronze glow and natural tan not orangey at all, it’s amazing.
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Reviewed in the United States on June 2, 2026
★★★★★ 3
50/50 - Honest and Fair review
Color: Dark, Size: 16 Fl Oz (Pack of 1), Color: Dark, Size: 16 Fl Oz (Pack of 1)
So… I bought the “glow your own way” in “darkest”. As soon as it came, immediately I read the back for timing instructions… there’s absolutely no mention of time to keep on. To be honest, that turned me off immediately especially for someone that may be new to self tanning, they would have had no idea. I had a little bit of an idea so I went with eight hours, wash off with warm water and apply moisturizer. Says “rinse free” but you have to rinse! The DHA in the tan gel that makes your color darken will only continue to develop over the next 24-30hrs AFTER YOU RINSE OFF! If you do not rinse for an extended period of time thinking the color will make you darker and darker until you look like JLO, the DHA can actually start to diminish, and your skin will begin to dry out being the tanner is now over process. I would not go over 12hrs AT THE MOST before finishing off. That being said, this also didn’t not say if I could rinse with warm water, warm water and soap, a full blown shower, and for someone new to this - they would have no idea. Not cool!
Smell - the first pump into my hands was a mix of bad coconuts, tanner, and chemically nauseating but once it was on and dried it was much better. The “fake” tan smell wasn’t as strong as others I’ve used which I very much appreciated. I did my over night so I wasn’t too worried about the smell, if you do tan during the day, your self tanner odor will be noticed.
Picture #2 - I did not apply to my hands. My hands are very dry from cleaning, doing dishes, being a mom and wife. The only thing they need is moisturizer so I opted to not apply on my old man hands. I’m coming up on hour eight and you can see the subtle difference between my wrist and my hand color. Hoping the DHA will develop more over the next day and the color will darken (I will let you know if I remember). I did NOT see a huge difference to my light olive complexion and that was disappointing. This gel in “darkest” should have been a great match for my skin tone.
Overall the smell was low after applying, the get dried very quickly which was a HUGE bonus to me! At the end of the night, speedy is the best thing for me! The subtle color this gave me was not worth it, I am hoping it darkens up over the next 24hrs. Maybe I got a faulty solution in mine.
If you’re a beginner, here’s your guide to timing and rinsing and I wouldn’t say not to try. The clear solution is beneficial and the quick drying was awesome. But if you’re looking for a deep, dark color, you’re not going get it from this which is a bummer.
Hope this helped!
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Reviewed in the United States on February 24, 2025
★★★★★ 5
Long lasting
Color: Dark, Size: 16 Fl Oz (Pack of 1)
This stuff lasts forever, lol
It doesn’t smell bad and if you apply it correctly, the tan lasts quite a long time! It’s just a tiny bit too dark for me for every day but great for a vacation. It’s not streaky and it’s not too orange, but it is warm.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 9, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Transparency Triumph: The 'Clear' Winner in Self-Tanning!
Color: Dark, Size: 16 Fl Oz (Pack of 1), Color: Dark, Size: 16 Fl Oz (Pack of 1)
As someone new to self-tanning, the thought of a clear self-tanner was quite scary to me, but after seeing a lot about this product online I decided to give it a shot, and I am glad I did! These are photos of me with the tan and without; The last photo is how I looked when I woke up after having it on for 10 hours.
Here are my final thoughts on the product alongside some tips!
Non-Transfer Formula (5/5): One of the best qualities of this product is the excellent non-transfer formula, which deserves 5 stars. You can go about the rest of the day without stressing that your new tan will transfer to your clothing, furniture, or anything else you touch. If you're nervous about attracting attention to yourself while you're out and about, this clear gel is the perfect alternative to common tanning mousses with guide colors that might leave you looking like a giraffe.
Comfortable Wear (5/5): Another huge plus is the comfort factor. Once this tanning gel dries, you won't feel like you've been ensnared in a sticky web. I've even dared to wear it outdoors without feeling like a bronzed oddball (which can happen with tinted tanning products). Sleeping in it is a breeze too; it won't transfer onto your sheets or clothing, allowing you to leave it on as long as you wish. Plus, it imparts a lovely, natural glow that's sure to turn heads.
User-friendly (3/5): I must admit, this one took some time to get the hang of. It's marketed as an easy alternative to mousse, but its transparency makes it a bit trickier.
Application Tips:
So firstly, buy a tanning mitt, any tanning mitt! This is not a job for bare hands or latex gloves, trust me I have tried!
I also apply hydrating moisturizer all over my body before application and wait around 10 minutes for it to soak in. On the areas that are tough, (elbows, knees, and ankles) I use heavier moisture. I personally use "EIGHT HOUR CREAM SKIN PROTECTANT" by Elizebeth Arden, and it has been a game changer. I use makeup brushes on my face, hands, and knees.
So when I first started using this I did notice it not going well around my feet/ankles and hands, but that's because of poor application. My advice for those areas is to really really blend it around with a small makeup brush, and smooth it over with a mitt. For my hands, I try very hard to put it on carefully with a makeup brush, and then I use wet wipes on my palm to make sure it doesn't get there. Once I shower if I see some blotches on my hand, I use an exfoliating mitt to take it right off. One other good thing about this product is that it is easy to remove with an exfoliator.
Double Glow Trick: If you want more of a guide, I mix L’Oréal Paris Sublime Bronze with this gel, around a ratio of 1:4. It creates such a nice glow together!
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Reviewed in the United States on September 30, 2023